autnotes 004: depression, linzer cookies, technical difficulties

I’m quite certain my cat is trying to get me back into the bedtime routine we had earlier this year — in bed by 10 or 11pm, awake by 8am. Summer exhausts me, though, and fall is depressing, so I don’t see that happening until the weather is cool again.

We used to go for “walks” outside, on the upstairs landing for myself and the three other apartments on my floor. She didn’t venture downstairs, but was content to explore outside a little bit. It’s too hot to do this now, so I stopped taking her outside and started letting her explore my kitchen peninsula instead. Every couple of hours, she jumps onto the bar and walks the countertop as if something has changed.

Recently, I fell into a depressive fog. A lot of things contributed to it, so I’ve been taking inventory of my current priorities, relationships and boundaries. My laundry piled up, while my dishes filled my sink and continued onto a large cookie sheet on my oven. I’m currently working on getting all caught up, because then I can return to my tidying up routine. I’d found one that worked, I just…need spontaneity sometimes and struggle to maintain routine if I’m too stressed.

I need routine to function, but then I get bored and need spontaneity. But then I can’t function, so I have to get back on a routine — which suffocates me, so I have to switch it up a bit. And on and on and on…

Ultimately, I think I need the routine that worked well for me earlier this year — but it was cool then, and it was before Galaxy’s spay and my almost losing her outside. I’m terrified now, and I know it’s in part to her needing more harness and leash training, but it’s difficult to do that in a small apartment.

In other news, I made Linzer cookies earlier this week — my favorite cookie — and thought I was dying but it was just heartburn from eating nearly half a dozen.

lemonandlively.com

• I moved lemonandlively.com to a new host. GreenGeeks is too expensive for me right now ($200/yr), and I still have four months before I have to renew DreamHost. I also totally did this last minute.
• I renamed lemonandlively.com to Sometimes Izzy. It makes more sense, and I was tired of XO, IZZY. Shit like this is likely to happen until I think up something I’m pleased with. I actually wanted jane.blog, but it’s a five-figure registration fee.
  • The Autistic Mermaid was taken.
  • Sparkling Unicorn Vomit felt too long and also unicorns aren’t my aesthetic.
• Since I hate every logo I create for my blog, I don’t have one. Nothing I make fits or works, and it bugs the crap out of me, but it is what it is. I know this isn’t required for a personal blog, but I want one because it is part of my blog’s identity.
  • Update: I low-key made one using an illustration in Canva 🤷‍♀️ not a logo per se, but adequate for now 👌

Technical difficulties

• My internet has been out a lot more than usual lately. I see to go through a pattern: FTC complaint gets me two months of good service, and then it goes kaput.
• I can’t edit anything within Google Suite. Nothing has changed on my end. I have even tried editing on super high-speed internet.
  • Speaking of high-speed internet, can we talk about the ridiculousness that is CenturyLink calling 3mbps “high-speed”??

Get to know me from my searches

(just for fun)

• french toast buns
• what to use when you have no syrup
• is chicken and french toast a thing
• what to eat when all food tastes like trash
• do raisins have juice
• autistic mermaid
• mermaid-inspired site name ideas
• why is there unicorn poop but no mermaid poop
• sparkling unicorn vomit
• how to drink sherbet -punch
• how to drink sherbet
• can i drink sherbet
• why can’t people photosynthesize
• why do i forget my shower thoughts quickly
• why do i have existential crises in the shower
• will heartburn kill me
• am i dying or is it heartburn