But being single is better than this…

Continued from I don’t hate being single. This post is 2/3 of my explanation of my single life. I’ve actually never revealed it this much before, but don’t worry: it’s not that interesting.

So, like… When they always talk to their ex whom they’re still in love with even though they deny still being in love with said ex, and then said ex sends me a friend request via Facebook (because did I mention said ex is his BEST FRIEND in this scenario?) – which I end up accepting anyway because he had already brought up how it would be great if she and I were friends/knew each other (why would that even matter though?!). Anyway, that one thing that probably seems so innocent/whatever is actually (in my opinion) what broke us up since mine and Chris’ relationship went downhill afterward.

I mean, if she had just left me alone and not messaged me about how she was a better girlfriend to Chris, etc., then he and I probably would have done well. I did tell him, but guess whose side he took? Yep. You [hopefully] guessed hers. This chick is supposed to be the girl who he loves so much he considers his sister (and he had said something along the lines of “blah, blah, blah, related”) – his little sister – and whom he is completely over.

Chris was living with his dad and his stepmother (R) at the time, and R made him ask each time he wanted to go over to his ex’s house before he actually went. Here is the problem with that:

  • Saying “yes” gives him permission to cheat
  • Saying “no” makes me this controlling/possessive girlfriend

R didn’t understand why I ever let him go over to his ex’s house. But it was one of those things where I couldn’t win either way. It wasn’t fair to even ask me, in my opinion, because if a boyfriend is truly loyal, he wouldn’t ask because he wouldn’t do it. I mean, isn’t it just common sense to not do something if you feel like your significant other will get upset over it? .-. I couldn’t win, and that was the main reason as to why I lost him.

Dirty text messages?

Another problem was that he sometimes sent text messages consisting of things he’d do to me. I’m a pretty bashful person, especially in person, and I’m not experienced even with [so embarrassing] kissing (OMG Chris forced it, and his lips were chapped and he was technically my first real kiss unless you count Andy’s kissing me on the cheek a “real kiss”) and it was at church (I was told that it’s wrong to kiss at church if you’re not married, so it feels really weird and awkward to me, especially…) …where people were there, and it was raining, AND IT WAS NOT LIKE IN MOVIES AT ALL IT WAS SO HORRIBLE AND GROSS. Although maybe if lard wasn’t there it wouldn’t have been so bad. He asked me about it. He made it very awkward. It was none of his business.

Anyway… When he asked me what I would do, I was just like, “Uh…” We hadn’t even been together a month. -.-

And there was more…

Some pet peeves:

  • When guys constantly try to get into my business (i.e. like on my cell phone especially) and read things that aren’t there. If it’s a trust issue, then fine. Let me see and play with your phone. However, if that’s really how the relationship has to work, then why are we even together if our relationship lacks trust?
  • When guys can’t keep their hands off of me. Holding hands is awkward for me – as well as being touched at all – I mean, you go through hell and back as a kid and tell me if you like it. I’d love to be able to hold hands without it being awkward. See, Andy never pushed that. I warmed up to him and saw that he was okay and not out to hurt me. Chris just dived into the whole ‘being in a relationship’ thing as if we had been together for a year (see next point). I mean, why can’t we still also be friends? :/
  • WHEN GUYS TALK ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, HAVING KIDS AND WHAT OUR KIDS’ NAMES WILL BE. Do I really need to discuss this one any further? I mean, okay. So… If we’ve been together for a year or so, maybe that’s okay. Maybe. Maybe. However, AFTER TWO WEEKS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

But just because I’m single doesn’t mean I like it.

So um. .-.

I’m splitting again.

Because my original post was over like 1500 words. I rewrote this part, and I’ll rewrite the next part… I figured splitting it into three posts would be kind of different from other bloggers?: one post for the good, one post for the bad, and one post that you don’t get to find out about until later (it’s not ‘one post for the ugly’; Western movies are not my thing, thank you very much-.-).

I do hope you enjoy these, though. o.o It’s my attempt at being a not-so-boring blogger.

If you loved this post, please share or buy me a pretzel:

Comments on this post

Great post. ^.^
And you’re right about the not winning either way. But if guys cared enough they wouldn’t put us in that situation to begin with. I mean how can talking to an ex be ok? We are such like minded people.

Sorry for double posting! There were a few errors in my last…
I have luckily never run into any of these situations, but I can imagine the irritation. I have friends who talk about marriage after 3 months and I’m amazed. I can understand contemplating the future, but marriage is so far away and so permeant. My boyfriend and I have discussed the future because college is about to happen so it was necessary but marriage isn’t really a topic of interest.

“I mean, if she had just left me alone and not messaged me about how she was a better girlfriend to Chris, etc., ” I love the nerve of some people! I’ve had friends who have experienced things similar to this and it always blows my mind that anyone would have the audacity to do something like that. It’s not even like they did it in person – I would have more respect for that- but a facebook message? Not a good look.

I guess the apple doesn’t sit too far from the branch… He broke up with me via a Facebook message. You know what? Perhaps they’re perfect for each other.

After he dumped me via Facebook, his status was immediately changed to single. The next day he’s taken — by her. She cheats on him once again and ends up dating someone else… Whilst they are dating, he text messages me various things ranging anywhere from how he misses me to how he feels about his grandmother’s death, as if he’s looking for my sympathy. Did he have the impression that I’m an easy girl with a low self-esteem? My self-esteem may be low, but not low enough to be desperate like that.

With regards to Chris, I think… you didn’t like him so you weren’t comfortable with him holding your hand, etc. I think it wouldn’t be a problem if it was someone you really liked. Judging from your post, Chris seems cumbersome, haha.

But having said that, I totally get what you mean though. There’s a no PDA policy with me – it’s just uncomfortable for me and anyone who’s unfortunate to be around.

Honestly, I think guys who are too touchy before you’re comfortable with it, when you’ve mentioned that it makes you uncomfortable, have serious boundary issues. He should have respected how you felt about it.

I completely relate to being wigged out a bit by a guy mentioning marriage so soon into a relationship.

He sounds similar to one of my exes. He kept talking about a girl and how he loves her as a little sister. He’d even tell me that he needed to “protect” her and not me. Ugh, that used to annoy me so much.

I think him asking you to be friends with his ex is weird. Then having her tell you she’s a better girlfriend to him? That’s just not ok, and even worse that he took her side. I would be insulted by that =/ I agree that having him ask you for permission puts you in a very awkward position.

I feel like some guys don’t know the limit when it comes to being touchy, and they don’t take hints well. I have a personal bubble that I had to talk to my guy about, and it took him a while to understand when it was appropriate and when it wasn’t. I definitely feel that guys shouldn’t push it on you if you’re not comfortable with it.

I’ve never heard of a guy talking about marriage so early! That’s kind of crazy. I suppose it’s better than being terrified of commitment?

I’m sorry to hear that this relationship didn’t work out though =( As Justin said, there are still great people out there. I wish you the best!

Honestly, being single is not a bad thing. It can probably save you a lot of trouble if you’re not ready for one. And who knows?! You could be completely content with being single and someone can come and melt your heart away.
That’s what happened to me. I wasn’t ready for a relationship at all but my boyfriend changed my mind.
Everyone goes through different things though and I wish you all the lucky with your personal relationships!

Contrary to what Justin said, I think that you shouldn’t be visiting your ex’s house all the time once you’re together with someone else. It’s one thing if you’re still friends with your ex and you’re going to hang out there with several other people. But that doesn’t sound like the case here. The only way for you to win is to leave, and I’m glad that you’re not there anymore.

I also think that a lot of people a bit younger than our age are a bit delusional the first few months they’re dating someone, the so called “honeymoon” period of a relationship. It’s not realistic to think that you’d stay together forever until you’ve actually been together for a while. I guess it’s one thing to talk about marriage, and it’s another to sound serious about marriage. (Even after three years, I am still a bit afraid of the topic, but that’s probably my problem.) Some people are fully committed from the start, though. But I think that with most people, there’s that “testing the waters” stage of a relationship, and it’s usually a bit longer than two weeks. Just a bit. 😛

As for dirty text messages and holding hands, that’s great for some people and not great for others. I actually enjoy both, but if you don’t, then you don’t.

Here’s some optimism for your pet peeves ‘cuz thats how I roll:
– when guys are all up in your business, it’s because they care about you and they don’t wanna lose you
– if guys keep touching you, at least you know they find you attractive
– when guys talk about things like marriage, it means they’re truly committed to you and thinking about having you in their future

But yeah, the first two are still somehow pet peeves for me too. The third one doesn’t freak me out at all, though. I mean, when I date someone, I commit. I give it everything its got and hope for the best. To avoid topics like marriage and children makes it sound like part of me is avoiding the subject because I don’t truly think the guy is the best for me… and if I think that, then why don’t I just end it now?

Saying “yes” to Chris didn’t give him permission to cheat… though why the hell did he always wanna go over there? That’s really suspicious. If he were truly over her, he would have taken your side when she said all that shit. I’m sorry you’re an asshole magnet, but don’t give up hope. There are still great people out there, and you deserve the best!

Maybe it was the wrong kind of rain? …like acid rain? lol Because I alway enjoy kissing in the rain.

Anyway, as always, I’m here for you! Wishing you the best!! <3