I dislike looking back on my past year-in-review posts, mostly because they’re so unbelievably embarrassing I literally cannot even. So I’m not writing those anymore. I hijacked the name of my late food blog (or my attempt at a food blog, anyway) and used it to create something I’m happier with.

Wanna skip to sections?

• Life
• Blog
• Cancelled on television
• Memorable movies I watched this year
• Miscellaneous tidbits

Life

• My knees slammed onto pavement quite hard in February. I still have the bruises, and my ankles and knees still hurt. I can’t do things the way I used to, which makes it feel like I’m having to learn how to do them all over again. It was like my ankles forgot how to move when I walked.
• Todd had to be put down because he was really sick and wouldn’t get better. ???
• I went to a food fest in Austin. It was OK; I prefer the GFAF Expo. ? I love and cherish the relationships I make with the vendors at the GFAF Expo; them remembering me speaks volumes. Going to Austin was also fun, but it’s so weird to be a tourist in a city over a decade after I lived in it for three years.
• My laptop died, then my three-month-old phone died.
• Seeing the “Vaxxed” documentary changed my life for the worse, because it caused a divide between a close family member and I. Once someone calls autism, even in general, a “disease” and “worse than cancer”, there’s no going back. My worst fear regarding my autism is, and always has been, that someone close to me—who seemingly accepts my autism, is chill with it, and is all about the #actuallyautistic pride—will secretly think and believe it’s a disease and horrendous. The bond we shared was thrown into a tree shredder, then set on fire that day. It will never be the same. ?

I had a really tough year, and I don’t feel comfortable/want to publicly share anything/everything else that happened yet.

Autism

In addition to the last bullet point under the “Life” header: this event made me feel ashamed of my autism, which I’d not felt in several years. It really bloody hurt, and shit happened again the next month. She didn’t let me take a step back when she constantly pressed me for something, which resulted in a meltdown. June was my month of one meltdown after the other. I self-harmed, which I’d not done in at least a year. I felt so alone and betrayed. I was expected to keep blogging about my autism by her and her friends, called out when I refused to due to the trauma Vaxxed had caused.

Then, for someone to have fucking insulted my autism—indirectly or not, unintentionally or not—was the bloody limit.

If you try to burn someone by referring to their autism, or if you refer to their autism in an email about why they are shit, you should be ashamed. Furthermore, you should never feel entitled to having any relationship with them, especially if it’s me you did it to—because that is a deal-breaker. That is the line. Our relationship will never be the same; I will always keep you at an arm’s length, and you’ll know merely a limited version of me.

But then…no one is entitled to a positive relationship with anyone.

Blog

• Some chick copied my previous theme, Parsley Sphene, in its entirety and left my own custom additions to it. It really sucked, but it also led to me taking on a punchier attitude when it comes to protecting my hard work (and the things made for my usage only). ? The same chick later caused more trouble.
• I went nicheless, ’cause running niche-oriented blogs are limiting.
• I changed my blog URL/name to hej.gay, and I’m still so happy about it! A few months after, I got a new theme to match. ?

Note to readers and friends

I’m nearing up on my blog’s seventh birthday. I’ve met a lot of people over the years, lost a lot of friends, watched a lot of people get into blogs and then disappear off the face of the planet…

This year was one of my toughest since 2012 (before that was 2007), and I’m really thankful to have had a group of friends with whom I can chat each day.

Thanks to: peeps who have stuck around and put up with me for so long, randoms, haters, and the lurkers.

I also created a credits page, because I didn’t like it on my about page anymore—and because there are some notable people I want to thank publicly, on a static page. It will grow as I grow. The idea stems from my fave publicity blogger.

Cancelled on television

A few thoughts on cancelled television series, with an emphasis on shows I miss.

• I really wanted to watch Agent Carter, because the posters seemed interesting. I learned it was airing as soon as it was cancelled. There wasn’t a lot of promotion for it.
• I watched the first few episodes of Grandfathered, but Jesse wasn’t my favorite Full House character, so Jimmy’s antics just annoyed me. I don’t miss it.
• Telenovela reminded of me of when I’d watch telenovelas as a kid and try to speak Spanish. “Trejajulookdo tres peachde,” I’d say. Only Telenovela was in English, so it was easier to understand.
• Heartbeat was basically the love child of Grey’s Anatomy and House, M.D. I feel like it would have done better on ABC. Shows challenging the status quo don’t seem to do well on NBC or Fox. And…maybe it needed a more diverse cast.
• Undateable was cancelled after three seasons, which totally blows because its latter season was 100 percent live and utterly hilarious.
• The Family was…like Lost, in that you couldn’t miss an episode or else you would be completely lost. It was also really political, and considering American Odyssey (NBC; cancelled 2015) was also political, full of illegal activity, and also cancelled, I feel something similar was just…The Family premiered during a complicated political time; perhaps the timing was just off.
• Heroes Reborn is listed as a cancelled television show, but…it went in as a mini-series and came out as one.~ The Heroes creator has stated in multiple interviews that the franchise is not over.

Memorable movies I watched this year

I watched ~186 different movies this year, logging over 260 entries.

• The Way He Looks
• Blackbird (not just because I accidentally spilled water on my laptop right after watching it)
• The 5th Wave
• Joy

Miscellaneous tidbits

• I don’t enjoy writing link love posts. I keep slipping because they don’t excite me. I don’t look forward to writing them. They feel like a chore.
• I didn’t have any posts, really, I felt proud of. Yeah, I’ve written many this year, but…aside from a select few, I don’t feel I did my best. I want to post more things next year I won’t look back at and cringe so much about.
• I wasn’t personal, I guess. I had a shit year, and I didn’t want to share everything about it, but in doing this, I hid other parts of myself. ?
• I read 16 books this year, as opposed to none since…heh…The Twilight Saga. Or Dear John…maybe.