This year was a bit of a roller coaster for me; there were many ups, downs, twists and turns.

Since I have something more of a list of things to share, however, I’m going to use an unnumbered list.

Summary of 2015

January

• I stood up for myself and expressed some annoyances with what is typically expected in relationships, revealing something personal about myself in the process.
• I began working on Zigative, but later dropped it and directed peeps to join bloglist.me instead.
• I took a stand and decided to stand up for my own health, because someone needs to.
• I created a 101 Things in 1001 Days list, only to scratch the idea altogether and create a bucket list to loosely follow instead.

February

• We got snow thrice. I went outside in summery pajamas to snap a shot at night in 30ºF weather for the first one, and took photos from my window for the second and third times at whatever times I took them.

March

• I registered @ijanelively on Twitter, then spent the next few months desperately wanting it already.
• I got sick from eating blue cheese dressing, because blue cheese is made with penicillium mold, and I am allergic to penicillin/penicillium. Oops.
• I decided weight is just a stupid number. I can’t maintain a steady 130-140 lbs, so screw it all if I fluctuate between 118 and 131 lbs. All trying to maintain whatever the hell a “healthy” weight does is make me binge eat and terrify me that I’m going to die because I can’t please whomever made up the “average”.
• I turned 24. This is the first year in which I didn’t post a birthday post. I meant to, but… well, Internet went out, and I scheduled it before I completed it. Oops.

April

• I didn’t even realize it was April Fool’s Day until it hit me, so I didn’t understand why so many people were posting about pranks and whatnot.
• One of my most popular posts wound up being one about the Intimina Lily Cup Compact. Not sure how I feel about that — but I’ll settle for slightly embarrassed and a little freaked about most shares being on Facebook.
• I convinced Charlise’s horrendously abusive ex-boyfriend that the reason his clothes came out of the wash pink was because he used laundry detergent for the mostly red loads of laundry and needed laundry detergent labeled “neutral” so he could wash all the colors at once.
  • It was funny, but it was also a little immature of me.
  • In my defense, I was being sarcastic. I didn’t expect him to take me seriously.

May

• I missed the Butterfly Festival this year, thus dropping my yearly tradition of going. It sucks, but meh…

June

• I dropped all plans for lizandcode.com and deleted its content.
• I changed my active Twitter account handle to @ijanelively and have never felt as though I had a better-fitting  username. I felt real; it felt right.
• I went to Catoosa, Oklahoma for five days for a family reunion.
  • There was a guy who looked like one of my celeb crushes…Bill Skarsgård, I think…or maybe it was Jack Falahee. I’m pretty sure ’twas Bill, though. It’s on Twitter somewhere.
• Needless to say, I was happy to arrive back home.

July

• I didn’t really blog about my life, so there’s not much to tell/share about it.
• I wrote a song, and I’ve many rants started in this month…I didn’t publish them, because I was mostly sick of the amount of ignorance regarding the topics.

August

• I went to the Perot Museum in Fort Worth.
• I had to buy a new keyboard due to my laptop keyboard officially meeting its final days.

September

• I tried to create a custom theme for Charlise and gave up; I used a framework instead. Not a huge fan, but at least she has a theme she likes, which also matches her logo and can handle the various features she desires.
• I finally took a stand regarding my disinterest in the drama and family feud going on. It was so time-consuming and sucked up all my energy, and I was so sick of everything. I moved in with Grandmama and spent three-and-a-half years being around this family; despite their faults and minor ignorance, I’ve learned what love is and isn’t. I was so sick convincing myself there might’ve been some love in there even though I couldn’t see it myself, if only because I was forcing myself to believe a lie I knew I couldn’t believe. That same old love is so overplayed, and I’m over it; I’m just sick of it.

October

• I don’t remember much of this month; it was a weird one for me.
• I know I got sickish, though.

November

• I found myself attaching back to my faith. I struggled with it a lot, because I associated God with abuse and hate and pure judgment. I believe he is about love and kindness, and it’s not my place to judge or decide what’s right and wrong. I’m going to love and continue to be respectful toward others’ beliefs, because it is how I’d like for them to treat myself and mine.
• I drew my name in Secret Santa, despite having been the last person to draw. The fact that a person claimed to have drawn their own when it was my name hurt(s) really sucks, but it’s fine. I don’t care anymore. I do awesome gifts, so.~

December

• I was going to go to the Truthical Musical, which is like a parody of popular animated musicals/films, but I started to feel really sick the day before and cancelled. I traced back to when I began feeling sick, and it was old cheese sauce—which would be like if you ate cheese that was sour and moldy, considering I’m allergic to mold. Yeah, ’tis pretty disgusting. Needless to say, I’m gonna aim to make my own from now on. I also need to in order to get the flavor right, as jar sauces just don’t cut it. Sorry, Ragu, you don’t taste real to me.
• I saw my siblings for Christmas. This is what has been at the top of my list and what I’ve been praying about. To respect their privacy, since they’re yet all eighteen, I won’t publicly disclose more.
• The backs of my hands are breaking out again, due to both the weather and me using too much dish soap. I also used Jergen’s, which was the only portable lotion I had to take with me to Mimi’s, so that set me back a bit in the healing process. Mimi had to buy a thing of the antibacterial (orange) Softsoap, which is really the only brand I know I can use skin-wise. It has coconut, but it’s not the first ingredient, and it’s more water-based.
• I passed on the traditional gag gift (old people-smelling perfume) to a female cousin who hasn’t had it yet. I packaged it in a gift bag, but wrapped the gag gift and the “real” gift alternatively. I won Amazing Grace by Philosophy in a giveaway a year or two ago, but it smells too powdery for me. I like Fantasy by Britney Spears, Girlfriend by Dots, and this one by Victoria’s Secret I can’t remember. Anyway, I wrapped Amazing Grace and made it the first thing that was opened to build up to the intended gift (the gag one). I’ve had the gag gift since Christmas 2012. Last year, people started to wonder who had it, but no one could remember…and I didn’t say anything. I realised it’s better if you hold onto a traditional gag gift[1. It’s been passed around again and again to people who haven’t had it and all that jazz over the years.] until people forget about it, because then you can gift it as if it’s a Secret Santa gift, and people won’t know your gift contains it.
  • Had I received her name from the Teen/Young Adult Secret Santa draw, this would have definitely been her Secret Santa gift from me, even though we didn’t do it so secretly this year.

Conclusion

I had a whole post about 2015 written up, but I decided to scratch it after deciding I was done with the drama and so-called love. 2015 was my year of self-love, and I think it was successful. Although I still battle with it, I love myself. If my life was made into a movie and set between 2013-2015, this year would be my coming-of-age year. I worked really hard to learn to love and accept myself as I am, and in that have realised I can do what I’ve been wanting to do. I’ll share some concrete plans for 2016 in a few days. 🙂 I’ll also work on organising 6birds into its new categories [and tags] over the next few weeks.

I also decided 6birds’ theme is going to stay for a while longer. I’m attached, and the song it was drafted from is one I still hold dear to me for various personal reasons, some of which may be slightly obvious for some veteran readers of 6birds? :3

I set this up similarly to Georgie’s organisational thing for her Hello 2015 post, because I liked it. A “Hello” post of my own will follow this one. 🙂