I had a whole thing written to ring in the new year, but then I went to Ben Wheeler, got new hipster undies, and realized the world feels different when you have comfy underwear. Another thing I’ve realized is that nothing beats the home throne, especially when you’ve IBS and knew you shouldn’t have had that Coke Zero instead of well water. Ahem.
2019 feels different somehow. It’s not here yet at the time of writing this, but it’s nearing. It’s so close I can almost taste it, except in order to get to it I first must go to the doctor’s office for a freaking checkup because this is my life now.
In the latter months of 2018, I invested in myself a bit. I’m going through changes, with which my blog will evolve to comply.
Personal life 🌱
My life is about to get KonMaried. It’s taken me awhile, but I’m finally at a point of like, I have so much shit and only wear 25 percent of my wardrobe and also I hate that barely any expresses me!
Previously, I was under the impression that I’d be ready for a makeover once I had a lot of money to blow. While this is how they do it in the movies and on TV, this is not how it works in real life/adulthood. Slowly, I’ve been thrifting my way to a made-over wardrobe. It’s inexpensive compared to what I imagined my makeover being like, and I’m surprising myself nearly every time I get something. In a way, I’m learning that my style isn’t completely how I once thought it was, but rather it was comprised mostly of what other people wanted it to be.
You know how I said I was investing in myself? Well, you may’ve heard: I bought a backpack. It’s totally fitting of what I’m made of (prickly cacti, according to my nemeses and those who find me intimidating). I bought it not just because I liked it, but because it’s big and I wanted a backpack I could use to lug around my crap while traveling since I could just carry it on my back (or shoulder). I consider it a Christmas present to myself, though also an investment because it will hold me accountable. I want to visit my family more, and maybe even travel. I know that’s a lot to ask of a backpack, but this is me we’re talking about.
I’ve been spending more time living my life, as I am, unapologetically; by this, I mean I’ve been asserting myself and refusing to feel guilty for it, because I realize now the only way to stop being someone people think they can just push around is to not be so passive-aggressive. I’ll let the people who view this as angst believe it’s angst; that’ll reflect on their character—not mine.
I’m going about my life one day at a time, day by day by day by day—whether it’s eating disorder recovery, living, or figuring out my future.
Last year, I watched 49 films and read 41 books. As stated in the previous entry, I’m joining The Classics Club and my Goodreads reading goal is 19 books.
I’m not setting any goal for movies, but there are many things in my Netflix watch list I’d like to get through ASAP.
Skills to improve
In July, I started learning Japanese because I was fed up with waiting on manga to be licensed in English/translated and couldn’t navigate the author websites or sites that sold the comics. Maybe it’s a dumb reason. Some people think I’m learning it for job opportunities, but that’s complicating the matter. 😅 I’m having a lot of fun with it and picking it up quicker than I did Spanish. What matters most is that I enjoy it, I surmise, because it’s a simple thing that brings me joy.
Since, like, November, I’ve been into doing my nails. I groom them weekly and paint them almost weekly (as often as I feel). They’re growing in harder now that I’m eating, so I couldn’t bite them well even if my life depended on it; it even hurts my teeth. I’ve taken an interest in nail art, however, especially with my paint jobs improving each time. This is another way in which I’m surprising myself, in that I never expected to love a pastel polish or be content with a purple/blue pizazz. I also never dared dream of a life wherein I didn’t bite my nails. I stopped biting them for myself—not because some external force thought I needed to; this, methinks, is the key.
Apparently I’ve been applying this wrong and nobody bothered to tell me. 🤦 I’ve been applying it to just my lower eyelid, and the top…ugh. Don’t even get me started. Just know this: I am practicing, and eyeliner will once again be my bitch once I nail the top eyelid. MARK MY WORDS.
I’ve been annoyed with my hair for ages. It needs a cut, but that’s not a high priority. Pinterest, I’ve found, is great for making like Alice and falling down a rabbit hole. It’s in that rabbit hole I’ve found hairdos I CAN DO MYSELF.
I’m excited, because it’s another way I’ll be able to express myself. I’m also so over the plain Jane hairstyle that is waking up, not brushing it, and going about my day; or worse: putting it up in a bun and giving myself a headache. 💁
If there was another term that was not only catchy, but got the job done, I’d use it instead of this one; alas, there is not.
I’ve taken some steps towards independence, although minimum compared to how you might define the independence staircase. I have my own cotton balls and nail polish remover now, as opposed to how I always used to have to ask to borrow some. I consider this a step in the direction to independence, because it places me as able to fend for myself to a certain extent, more than I previously did.
I never learned how to adult, so I’m having to learn in adulthood. It’s not ideal, but then if we’re talking ideal, school should have covered this shit. 👌
Word of the year: Peace
Initially, I selected patience for my word of the year, but the more I thought about it, peace sufficed more. I need to be at peace with my body and accept that I can’t just whittle it away to Photoshop it in reality. I also want the quality people tend not to realize I have—that is, a lack of grudges held and lots of love—to be recognized more. People find me intimidating, and whilst I’ve less interest in being liked than I do in being respected, I’m hoping my declaration that this word is my word of the year will billboard it out to the haters/critics/etc.
At the end of the day, however, it’s their character and not mine—which I’ve also made peace with. Peace also requires patience, methinks, so it’s like…an upgrade from my initial selection.
For awhile, I adopted “slow blogging”, a phrase Holly coined that fits the process quite well. This isn’t working for me; rather, I find I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon and have been lazy at getting back on it. I’m working on a food blog project, like for real this time, that I intend to see through, and generally I want to make something of myself through blogging. I used to feel ashamed, but I’m so tired of using other people’s opinions as a commentary for my life.
My life has also changed, and the great thing about a nicheless personal blog is that it can evolve with you regardless of your main topics. 👌
Again, I’m partaking in the Book Blog Discussion Challenge ’cause it’s fun, even though I don’t always have post ideas for it, and the Comment 4 Comment Challenge, as an attempt to be better at comments.
Seven regular(ish) columns will grace Janepedia this year, without intending to sound too pretentious:
- ☑️ Month YYYY – I’m gonna do monthly recaps again, but rather than sorting out a proper title for it, I’m just gonna tick that thing off to Timbuktu.
- Decluttering Diaries (biweekly to monthly)
- Fuck it! Fridays (monthly) – I’m nervous about how people will respond to this one, because it uses profanity and is also likely to stir controversy.
- Jane Lately (sporadically)
- Style Saturday (biweekly)
- Top Ten Tuesday (here and there)
- What I Ate Wednesday (biweekly to monthly)
Green 52 is…on hold. I got anxious over it, and I low-key think it was perhaps … well, I’ll explain later, but it’s related to DID.
Every now and then, a television network creates what is called a limited series: a piece of work with a set number of parts; the work doesn’t go beyond those parts, but there may be opportunity in the future to add onto it.
I’ve considered something similar for my blog, especially since I tend to process information categorically naturally, and when I think up a topic, I’ve already kind of compartmentalized it. I think it’ll be a great way for me to say what I want to say about something in one go, with the ability to be revisit it in a later post or two. The idea of doing one a year and sharing one part per month entices me. It’s something that’ll hold me accountable and may help me to expand my blog readership without having to sell my soul or attempt the sleaziness of growth hacking.
I settled on the idea of limited series instead of creating and selling e-books because I’ve concluded that route is just not for me. I’m not interested in keeping up with a shop front for that kind of venture, nor with selling information I wish to share just because it’s a special interest by packaging it into something I have to exert myself to accomplish.
I already mentioned soft boudoir (#5), but in case you missed that memo: I’m not gonna be sharing pornography, but rather artistic, abstract, intimate photos of myself. At least, that’s how the world will perceive them. I don’t understand the diff between posing in a bikini versus lingerie, how there’s a difference despite the same amount of skin being shown. And that is a big part of the reason why I’ve chosen this route.
I made a list of prospective topics that excite me about blogging:
- DIY dollhouses/furniture
- DIY personalized art
- photo projects
- refurbished furniture
- show recaps
- upcycled projects
Gardening isn’t on here, but it is included in other things; e.g. I’d love to figure out how to make a real garden for a dollhouse that can be removed, but still played with accordingly—the lack of realistic things like that bugged me to bits when I was a kid, as nothing beats the real thing. Lately, I’ve been interested in refurbished crafts and dollhouses/accessories in regard to hobby-related material. I want to build a dollhouse, just for fun, that maybe a sibling or cousin will play with. I’m not into decorative art you buy in stores; I want my art to adorn my walls, eclectic as my style is. I’m into multi-functional pieces, too, and believe art is in everything. And I want to talk about it, because this is a big part of me, so why not share it?
Happy new year! What’s your new year looking like? 😊
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La La in the Library
I stumbled across choosing a word for the year last year on Runright Reads book vlog, but it was too late in the year to implement it. I remembered it though, and this year my word is “simplify”. I have already culled over 125 books to give to our neighborhood community center’s Little Free Library and the library’s used book sale. I’m going to be reading books about de-cluttering, wardrobe streamlining, and clean eating, and writing about them on my blog. 👍✨
It looks like your plans for your blog are well organized. I like having some free-floating features that can be posted on a here and there basis, too. I’ll be looking forward to your posts. 😀
One of my friends recently went on a simplifying journey and blogged about it. Might be useful!
Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
I’m impressed that you’re learning Japanese. My daughter took it for a while, and we found it to be a very difficult language to learn—but fun too! 🙂
I expected it to be difficult, but I think the fact that the characters are entirely different from those of the English language is what makes it easier for me—also there being one sound for each character, unlike English having several.
Sophia @ Bookwyrming Thoughts
I feel the same way about 2019! 2018 for me was getting over a hurdle of sorts from a few years ago, so 2019 has got to be better and I can feel it as well. Hope the year will be good to you! <3
My goodness, those mini-donkeys are cute!!! My mum would love them 😍
Other comments in email.
Yes! They’re definitely my babies! 😍 Addie’s the one with her head stuck in the fence; the other is Josie Pi—and I named her. 😏 Combined maths and books, and I feel clever. XD
I really like your word of the year. I hope it’s a year of peace for many of us. Good luck with all of your 2019 goals. 🙂
I am glad you are back to blogging and I have not read a post of yours in your while. Maybe I was slacking on commenting as well, but let us blame you. And welcome to the commenting challenge since we both are not slacking anymore.
I thought the adulting makeover will happen some day but I am still wearing bright colorful clothes I did years ago and I am giving up!
Considering I had a lot going on last year (stress, mental health, carpal tunnel syndrome + a hand injury, a trip to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack, and starting anorexia recovery), I don’t consider it slacking-slacking. I just…I wanted to blog, but I also had a lot going on, so comments weren’t priority. 😅
I still wear mismatched socks a lot, so…yeah. The matching-socks and adult clothes can just go elsewhere, away from me.
About a year or so ago, I also reached that point where I felt like I had too much stuff and didn’t use most of it. It’s felt really good to declutter, but yeah, what they show on TV is so unrealistic. Better to take things step-by-step! I’m looking forward to your Decluttering Diaries! (Speaking of things to watch on Netflix, there seems to be a Marie Kondo show on it now?)
I also think that’s great that you’re going assert yourself without feeling guilty about it. Sometimes we spend too much time trying to please people, but it ends up being worse for us instead.
haha, I actually wanted to learn Japanese early on because of manga too! So many people do it; it’s not a dumb reason 🙂 It wasn’t until I went to Japan that I finally made efforts on learning it (and now I’ve been lazy on it again). I wish I knew more!
Ugh, I’m terrible at eyeliner. One of these days I need to learn it properly too. I think it’s neat to learn to cut your own hair. It seems like a useful and money-saving skill! Also, adulting is hard, so taking it bit by bit makes sense. I’m still bad at some things I assumed I’d understand by now, like financial things.
I like how you chose “peace” for your word of the year, and I’m interested in some of the prospective topics you listed out! (Now that I do toy photography, I’m especially interested in DIY dollhouse things.) I hope 2019 will be a good year for you!
Happy New Years!
Believe it or not, I was actually smiling (not being sarcastic or being mean) while reading this post. Why? Every new paragraph seemed to have a positive outlook on whatever you were writing about in those paragraphs. I’m glad to see this positive side.
Anyways, I can’t wait to see the new columns.
It is my hope that this outlook on my life will influence the people closest to me offline to make peace with things rather than criticizing me. 😅 It’s a be-the-change thing.
Thanks! I’m excited for the columns, too.
Happy New Year! I think we are feeling pretty much the same about 2019! I didn’t have any epiphanies or anything about this year. I just want to be myself, drink lots of wine, and graduate on time.
I’ve also fallen off the blogging wagon, and I’m not even sure that I want to hop back on. But here’s to a new year!
I’m wishing you the best in 2019! I love all of the goals that you’ve set for yourself!
Holy shit can I just say I AM SO EFFING EXCITED!!!!!! I’m pumped for what is coming for your blog and what you have planned that I’m almost squealing in my chair. I need to see the FIF series. 😂 Nothing is too controversial for Jane.
I am of course, as your fellow declutterer, excited to read about your decluttering journey 😊 I also have toyed with the idea of limited series for something similar to Fashion Friday (doing like a sub-series) that will be intermittent… but I haven’t really planned it out yet. I mean, I actually wrote about this in my latest post, but I happen to be doing a series that is in 12 parts this year, with one post per month! 😄
I go through phases of hating my hair, I’ve learned, regardless of its length. When I cut it short I thought it was terrific, but as it grew out I often hated how it looked. I feel like it’s hard for me to get things right and be happy with my hair, but oh well.
I suck at eyeliner too but I don’t have any solid goals to get any better at it… I generally just draw in my eyebrows and don’t have time or can’t be bothered with eyeliner. I have hooded eyelids which makes eyeliner a pain in the ass anyway 😞 haha.
Regarding the wardrobe makeover, ahhh, I felt the need to do that in November 2018 too. I bought a lot of second-hand clothes which really helped. I like that you are taking the thrifting route too ☺️
😊 I’m so happy you’re excited for that! Honestly, I’m a bit nervous because whilst stirring controversy is my specialty, it tends to make other people uncomfortable and there is backlash…as if they aren’t aware that that was my intention all along. Like, hello, I’m a writer; I calculate these things carefully!
The 12-part limited series of yours is akin to what I’ll be doing with mine! I mean, the interview series was the exception, but I mainly thought of this for blogging topics because special interest = total expansion on topics, aaand I discovered the expansions can neatly fit into 12 posts! As Charlise and I often say, great minds think alike. 😏
What I didn’t mention, and probably won’t for awhile, is that instead of doing the “recovery tattoos”, my hair is something I’ve treasured as a direct extension of my personality, so I’m aiming for “recovery hair”, haha. Learning how to style it is a step towards that, at least until it’s healthy enough to bleach/dye it as I wish. 😊