1. Things I said a lot last year:
- I’m a kind bitch.
- At least I admit to being a bitch. I’ll even admit to being psycho — sweet, but psycho. It’s a song. Catchy. I relate to it.
- Okay, bitch.
- WELL SORRY FOR CARING ABOUT YOUR WELL-BEING AND REFUSING TO LET DEPRESSION FESTER IN YOUR DARK-ASS ROOM.
- It still irks me that my ex-boyfriend asked me if there was any way we could get back together and then married his now-wife the next day. Like, I told him I was a lesbian.
- Is the washer clear? I need to do laundry.
- WTF SOLARA
- Oh, great. So fucking lovely. I just injured myself on my fucking bed again.
- Alexa, resume music.
- I can’t wait until I can afford all the skincare I want on the regular.
- I don’t want a boring bookshelf, but I need a new one because I have too many fucking books and don’t want to get rid of any of them. Like, I’ve already trimmed some, but I don’t want to lose anymore. (Already planning to get the Billy bookshelf from IKEA.)
- Oh my gosh. You know what would look so aesthetically pleasing? It doesn’t matter. Let me tell you anyway.
- I need an actual dresser now that I’ve folded my clothes and actually use my makeshift dresser, but they’re so ugly. But I’m running out of space thanks to the KonMari method.
- WHY WHY WHY
- Just tell them you’re grounded from your phone and ghost them through lying by omission. Unfortunately, it only works while you’re an adolescent. Can’t use it when you’re an adult; you’re stuck changing your number or blocking them.
- Shortt with two Ts is going to become a thing just like thicc, you watch. Or maybe with two Rs?
- Ruby Rose is so lovely. She’s, like, a great Batwoman. So great, so lovely.
A lil’ Jane-in-Real-Life for you, darlings (which, obviously, is the same Jane I am here 👌).
2. Decade photo challenge
In 2009, I had a boyfriend.
In 2019, I have no interest in having a boyfriend. As mentioned previously, I’m looking for a girlfriend.
3. A lot has happened, and it’s really altered who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to do with my life.
In short, I had a near-death experience that shook me.
I’m different in positive and potentially negative ways, depending on who you are. I realize what’s important in life and what trivial things don’t matter at the end of it all.
So my life, right now, is going a different route than I expected it to, but maybe this is what I needed to get that department of my life sorted.
It just so happens that it fucked up several other departments, and the departments kinda all rely on each other to have their shit together.
I came out to my family on Facebook, ’cause that’s where they’re all at. Charlise’s mom, my aunt, apparently whispered about my latest Facebook posting as if she hadn’t seen my coming out post to them all, so maybe it wasn’t visible. But I don’t care much, because it was never a secret; there’s a lot you can hide in plain sight.
4. Some website things
- I switched up some things, so jane.fyi is now a full-frontal website and doesn’t redirect to my Github Pages URL. I still use git.jane.fyi for it, however, and
go.jane.fyifor my personal URL shortener.
- New theme! I’ll be tweaking it as I have time.
5. My hourly wage job keeps me busy AF most of the time.
I have two days off and try to pack as much as I can into them that I both want and need to do. I’m trying to publish posts at least once every six days, excluding book reviews from that count (will post as they come).
Blogging is prioritized/not prioritized, depending on what I’m in the mood for. I’m looking to get a car by summer so I can have more independence — and I’ll be looking into a dance studio membership or something, if I can find one locally, because I want to danceee.
6. I’m trying to talk to cute girls.
I try to say “attractive women”, but it doesn’t have the same ring as “cute girls” does, and even Autostraddle uses the term for its “girl-on-girl culture” bit.
I don’t know how it’s going because you can’t exactly ask for feedback, but I’m not used to it because my ex-girlfriends and I always had a minimum of one mutual friend that was like, “Hey, she likes you,” and we just sort of fell into place. And then broke up, but.
So talking to cute girls I have no mutuals with, who are thus otherwise strangers to me, is really intimidating.
But I’m starting to feel more confident here and there. My job rips me out of my comfort zone and forces me to put myself out there, and maybe it will eventually leak into my personal life. I also think, like, talking to one cute girl kind of makes it easier, even if I have to let some time pass. And then it depends on the day, if customers are mean to me, if I’m just flat-out exhausted — exhausted is, like, the best mood for talking to cute girls because I bluntly don’t give an F.
Until next time.~
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That is a lot going on in your personal life. I’m sorry about that near death experience but I am glad it was near death and you didn’t die. 🙂 <3
It is hard coming out whether it is online or in person… maybe it is even harder in person.
Personally, I'm bi-curious. I've never done anything with any other women and I'm married (my husband fully supports me experimenting, of course *rolls eyes*) but I still want to know what it is like. I'm just SO SCARED. I even came out to my parents before I met my husband and my dad was supportive. My mom was just like "Sure…" and didn't ask questions and it is just not something we talk about. She just brushed it off. Sucked, bad. My sisters are supportive as well though, so that's good.
I just have no idea how to meet girls that would be willing to experiment. It is terrifying.
Anyway, it was nice to talk to you again. It has been years so I'm not sure if you even remember me from back in the day. Back when Georgie owned HeartDrops.me and Kassy was known as Kya and TheFanlistingsNetwork was super popular and that was the "thing" to own fanlistings of your favorite subjects.
I swear you sound exactly like me. I was just thinking about getting a bookshelf but since I plan on buying a home this year I decided to wait on it. I also thought about having someone build a custom one for me. I will have to see, depending on what my new home will look like.
I came out to my family a decade ago. It was difficult because my family is religious. My grandmother and uncle pretty much already knew and figured since I was a child. I guess they were waiting on me to actually say it. My sister didn’t take it well initially. She was very judgmental but it was just one of those situations she realized that she either had to deal with or just cut me off. She chose the former.
Talking to women is still a bit awkward for me. I have a “pre-made” family and sometimes I don’t know how they take it. My ex-girlfriend loved and still loves my family and is still there for us in that familial way. Our relationship ended after 4 years but we came to the realization that we were meant to be in each others lives, just not romantically.
If you want to talk to women you just have to go for it, be bold. Women aren’t really used to being the initiators so that makes it difficult on both ends. I find that taking the lead in situations makes things a lot easier. This also encourages women to open up to you also.