Procrastinating, moving, doctors

From time to time I wonder to myself whether I’d miss something highly important if I deleted many of the emails at the back of my inbox or not (because if it isn’t obvious already, I’m a bit too lazy to take the time to organize them).

I keep procrastinating. I’m not doing it on purpose; it’s just happening. I can’t stay focused on packing for a long amount of time. I’ve spent the majority of my life packing and moving and being moved and being packed and blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I struggle with procrastinating, though. It’s a hassle to get things done almost. And I know that when people are trying to help me by asking me if I want help and/or if I need help and/or if I need more ___ so I can get said whatever the heck done that it’s going to just take ten times longer because they asked about it, and I feel pressured, and I don’t like talking about the play before the game even takes place![1. This comes from a favorite quote of mine… “If you talk too much about what you’re going to do before you do it, you leave the game in the locker room.”, by Michael Caine. Personally I feel as though it fits my life a lot, even beyond the talking part.] It’s not that I’m ungrateful.[2. Yeah, this ‘ungrateful’ thing has made me feel even worse, and self-conscious, and I can’t get it out of my head. D:]

Also, if I’ve snapped at you, then I’m really sorry. Half the things I say are coming out the wrong way, my emotions are all over the place, and this birth control is supposed to be a low-hormone thing, but YOU KNOW WHAT?! IT DOESN’T FEEL TOO LOW TO ME. Mood swings. ALL THE TIME. Oh, and you wanna know the part I find to be THE most hilarious? It (birth control in general) shouldn’t be prescribed to those who have a history of/suffer from depression and/or gastrointestinal problems. xD I laughed when I read that, because I suffer/have a history of said things. My GYN doctor was really nice and all, but I really hate that doctors don’t listen to me when I tell them I’ll end up being that 1 percent – as if they think I’m just over-exaggerating or something. 😀

*sings* I *sneezes* told you so!

…I hate that this thing makes me sneeze so much, ugh.

please excuse my pointless ranting, really

If you loved this post, please share or buy me a pretzel:

Comments on this post

Shouldn’t doctors ask whether you’ve been diagnosed with depression before prescribing birth control? I definitely would if I were a doctor. Your gynecologist sounds incompetent. A big part of what medical/psychological professionals do is take care of that 1%. Because there are many different 1% of people with many different things… gah! If the pill is driving you nuts even after the normal adjustment period and you decide that reducing the pain from the cyst isn’t worth the pills, then perhaps the right decision is to just stop taking them.

Hopefully, you won’t be moving too many more times after this. Moving sucks… Good luck! This ordeal (the packing and moving) is ending soon! (You’re moving this week, right?)

She asked me if I’ve ever had thoughts about killing myself — for some reason every doctor’s norm for that question is “within the last three weeks”, and I’m guessing it’s just the typical thing to ask. 😛 I told her I was diagnosed with MDD and PTSD, and that the last birth control I tried was last year, and it only made my depression worse. I don’t think I’m going to continue taking the pills. I’m almost through with the pack. I suppose I could do what she wanted me to do — continue taking it for two to three months — but they just don’t understand that this pain is more unbearable than what I have to deal with on my own. :L Ugh. I’m mailing in my renewal form for my Women’s Health Program/Insurance thing by Medicaid (the only Medicaid insurance I seem to be applicable for), Saturday, and maybe I can figure out something as far as that goes? Blah. I don’t know. :L

Yeah, Saturday. Although I’m not using the word ‘moving’, because I can’t exactly move ALL of my stuff, considering I have 1 full bedroom set AND a lot of stuff to go with it. Whenever I get to a place where/when I CAN take all of it, then I will move all of my stuff. …To someplace. Somehow. I’m really trying not to worry about that right now, though, because if I do, then I’ll feel way overwhelmed.

Like right now, it’s Thursday, I’m not done yet, I feel overwhelmed, and I can’t sleep to save my life. But I’m about to crash. But I need to pack. But I’m so tired. :L It sucks.