There are some things that make a person what they are. Bloggers may be what they blog, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that their blog depicts their worth. This is my somewhat-miniature rant about what self worth is to me, what determines my self worth and how [my] self worth should be calculated.
I think a lot of people judge others based on what they think that they are worth. Self worth is what one’s self determines; we do not hold the right to actually label and distinguish someone’s self worth. Most of what is listed below is based on what has broken me in the past, and they do still break me today. Some parts are also said because of the way society treats others.
My self worth is not determined by my looks; whether I am pretty or ugly to others is not something that either increases or decreases my self worth. I am more than the glasses I wear, the dark brown hair with natural red highlights that breeds through my scalp, my fingernails that I chew to the bits out of habit. I am more than that; there is more to me than that,
My self worth should not depend on the job I have, the money I make and/or the position I am in. If, however, I love my career, then that is a plus and possibly applicable in determining my self worth.
My self worth should not depend on what I am wanting to do, working on doing and/or how I’m working on getting there. Whether I am in school does not pay an important part to determining my self worth.
My self worth should not depend on my current mental health, any disorders/syndromes/malformalities I may or may not have and/or whatever treatment I am or am not receiving at the time. This includes medications and behaviors that come with such mental health as well. My self worth isn’t determined by this.
My self worth should not be based on my sexual orientation, who I am dating, who I would like to date, who I have dated and/or how I seem in my relationships, be they in the past, present and/or future. It should also not depend on if I am cheated on, as that is not my problem. I, however, will never cheat, so I feel no need to mention that here for my self worth calculation. Therefore, if I do, I will analyze it as I see fit when/if such a time comes.
My self worth should not be based on my past, how I lived in the past and/or what I did in the past. It should not be based on what certain family members think of me and/or whether others choose to believe what I say.
My self worth should not depend on how much of a bitch people happen to perceive me as, nor how nice and sweet.
My self worth should also not be based upon what I say/do whenever I am mad and/or upset, when I am at my weakest, etc… It isn’t necessarily based on how I act, think or feel.
There’s more to me than what society finds important!
And although I don’t personally believe this at the moment to the point that I can tell someone, “Hey, that bit about me isn’t what defines me and shows my worth,” I’d like to think that someday I will get to that point.
What society needs to realize is that the pedestal in which we put a person other than ourselves is not necessarily the pedestal said person puts themselves on. It’s stressful to be put on a pedestal that I have been pressured so much to take responsibility for/on and live up to.
So maybe there’s someone out there who will read this, and maybe it will help them. However, at this moment in time, it does not help me.
How is or isn’t your self worth calculated? How do you feel your self worth should be calculated?
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Great post. I think it’s easy to get mixed up in feelings of low self worth when something negative happens (e.g. a mean comment from somebody, diagnosis of a new disease, etc.). It’s important to remind ourselves that our self worth is NOT tied into these things. The shame that society places on us doesn’t have to stay there. These experiences do make us stronger, though, if we let them.
I agree with everything you’ve said here. There are so many things, superficial things, that people use to “define” a person. It isn’t a bad thing to do, but they should not be things that ultimately define a person or the way you see them. It is almost as if you’re judging someone stereotypically, which is something we all try to avoid.
I guess there are many things that stand out about people, and like you, they would not want someone to see that as such a large part of who they are. Perhaps that is why when something “real” happens to celebrities, people are so shocked because they only ever view the person as some guy in a television show or a really hot actress.
Personally, I wish people would not judge me for everything. I wish people would not just see me as a pretty girl. I wish they wouldn’t see me as a smart busy woman who has her whole life ahead of her, because I don’t. I wish people also wouldn’t look at this all at once and think I’m perfect, or look at it all at once and think that I’m so amazing to get through so much stuff. There’s more to me than people can see, read about, hear about.
I agree with this. The complicated part is that, although people shouldn’t judge us too quickly or unfairly, we can only expect them to form an opinion based on what we show them. That doesn’t mean that everyone needs to know all of our history and beliefs right up-front. But we can control the way that we interact with them and treat them.
One simple, basic concept about careers – money is money. A lot of people forget that. If your bills and responsibilities are being taken care of by you, no one has a right to complain.
Yay, I like this!
Can you rewrite it though and call it The 6 Commandments of Self Worth and replace all the phrases that say “my self worth should not” to “my self worth WILL not” or “DOES not” or IS not?”
I feel like I’ve been coming across a lot of writers lately that have been trying to tackle self=empowerment. It’s like a virus going around and it least I can say it’s infectious. It’s finding me at the right time anyway.
Thank you! Also I like all the blue papery texture stuff in all the fields. Lovely site 😉
I understand what you mean. I hate that we live in a society where if everyone else doesn’t think we’re good enough, then we’re not good enough. It’s not fair that you work so hard for something or try your best, people will criticize you based on what they think about what you look or do. 😡
I can’t say that to myself either. I’m probably a bit too dependent on what other people think. But when people are that vocal about their opinions of other people as they are today, it’s hard to NOT think that you’re not good enough. D:
Hrm… I have never thought about how my own self-worth. I just always assumed that I was worth a lot and did whatever good things I needed to do. 😛
That said, a person’s worth should be calculated by (quoting Martin Luther King) the content of his character, and that’s it. Only a being like God can know how much each person is worth. It’s too bad that it’s just so hard to keep ourselves from judging. I wonder if we’re taught to judge subconsciously sometimes, but do not know for sure.