Big electronic hugs to you! Even though I have never experienced a mental illness, and hope that I will never have to be diagnosed with one, I am standing right here with you, and you are always free to email me when you need to rant.

(By the way, I thought that psychosis referred specifically to some of the more serious and “positive” symptoms that came with schizophrenia. The hallucinations that people with schizophrenia have do drive some of them to be violent.)

The person teaching my psychology class mentioned that group therapy often helps a lot of people out. I’m really happy that you found someone online who has experienced what you are experiencing, and hope that you can find a support group offline.

I don’t know what you’re going through (as I have not experienced it) and can’t imagine what you’re going through and I won’t pretend I do. But I do know how it feels for someone to easily say “it’s okay” and “it will get better” when they really have no idea. And most people sit there and pretend that they believe those people and their comments, but you don’t and I applaud that. You’re being true to yourself and showing how you really feel rather than pretending to feel the way ignorant, narrow-minded people want/expect you to. No one can blame you for that. And no one can label you with a mental illness. Happiness is not instantaneous just because someone says it’ll be alright which should be common sense, but I guess some people miss that. Mental illnesses have a bad connotation for some reason, but honestly they aren’t bad at all. It’s normal, people go through things, things happen, and unless you’re little miss/mister perfect, there are going to be effects of that. So what if it’s a mental illness? It’s normal. We’re humans. It’s life. And life’s not fair. It’s a shame how very few people with mental illnesses who do something “crazy” serve as the prototype for everyone with a mental illness. That goes to show how ignorant our world is today.. why wouldn’t someone hate that?

I never heard of it before to be honest so I’m glad that you’re sharing your post about it with us. Though it looks heavy to deal with it every single day.

I have felt down for a long time and it reflected on the rest of my life (especially work) but I feel that there is no comparison to what you’re experiencing.

But one question, like Ashley said, what is it that you do want to hear from others?

*hugg*

“I hate how people will sometimes come across my blog and read a little snippet of my depression, then comment stating how “it gets better”1 and to “just be positive”.”

I completely understand your frustration and I know you’re just venting it all out, but what else can they say to you to try too make you feel better?

I think the problem is, I’m only guessing, most of your readers on here don’t have PTSD. Most of us cannot relate to what you’re really going through so we can’t give much insight but only to pat you on the e-back and say “there there” when you talk about your depression and PTSD. You have the wrong crowd to write about your problems too.

Let me tell you, when people say things like “it gets better”, “stay positive” etc. they mean it in your best interest. They may not know how to relate or how to really respond. They want to reach out to you, but don’t really know how. They want you to be happy and for things to get better and that might be the only way they know how to help you out. What do you want people to say?

You know, they may not know when it will get better or if it ever will. But these people do not control the happenings in your life. You do not even control some of the things that happen in your life. But you know, people might be talking in regards to their own experiences.

I can tell you that with my experience, things have gotten better. I went through some really hard times and I have come out of it a better person. You might think that I have never experienced pain or tragedy like you have, but we each have our own battles we have to fight no matter how big or small they look in other people’s eyes.

I don’t know what to say. Only thing is I’ve been where you are and I’m constantly battling with it everyday.

From the looks of things. You’re burnt out. Stick to people you know well and who will support you and are positive influences in your life.

To be honest, as much as it sucks when people don’t understand… the truth is.. sometimes they don’t.. and all they can say is “it’ll get better.”

Look after yourself.

Hi Liz! I’m PJ, and I come to you from Redhead Riter’s Community. I hope you will join us.

I think a lot of people don’t really know what to say. They think they are expected to say something to make it all better. They don’t understand that just being there to listen to your needs and feelings does something to help. It kind of reminds me of when someone passes away, and someone tells me “they’re in a better place”, or “I know it hurts but it will get better”. That infuriates me. For one thing, How do they know where my friend or loved one ended up? Besides that it NEVER gets better we just learn how to cope with it. (Just as you said about PTSD). I have been diagnosed with a “mild case” (whatever that means). I went to the psychologist because I actually was afraid I was getting alzeimers because I am extremely forgetful. The doctor said (after giving me some tests and talking) that I have depression and a mild form of PTSD. I told him I’m not sad, and he informed me that you don’t have to be sad to be going through this. He gave me some pills and sent me on my way. Needless to say, I really don’t know any more than I did before I went to him except to have a name put to it.

My husband has PTSD from being in Viet Nam, and I know it is not an easy thing to live with from either side, be it the person who has it or the family members. Does your community have a support group for the family members of those who have PTSD? The reason I ask is that it might do some good to you if they could understand what you are going through, especially coming from an “outside party”.

I won’t tell you it will get better. Because I don’t know anything about PTSD. I just know from what Red has described that the main thing we can do as friends is be there to listen and encourage.

I don’t know what kind of relationship with God you have (if any), but I will keep you in my prayers, because I have found that they do work wonders. I hope that is alright with you.

As far as your blog goes, I think it would be helpful for you to write about whatever is on your heart and in your mind at the time. We ALL need to vent. Be assured that your FRIENDS from the REDHEAD RITER Community will be here for you.
(I hope I didn’t make you more depressed than you were to begin with.)

God Bless,
PJ

First off, I would like to say I definitely agree with you – it pisses me off so much when the first thing most people say is ‘it’ll get better’. I’m pretty darn pessimistic myself, but I had to stop being myself around everyone because apparently people didn’t like it. I hate having to do that.

I think there’s so many people out there who don’t quite understand the mind and how much suffering people go through. I talk to people who justify it as ‘a bad day’ or ‘they’re just begging for attention’ and it pisses me off.

I’m not a fan of super positive people who have the need to shove sunshine down everyone’s throats so I say if you want to blog with pessimism and reality then you go for it. It’s so much more interesting to read.

People who say “stay positive” don’t have a clue. Those who say “it gets better” may have a clue, but that’s a stupid thing to say anyway, because that’s not what the person needs to hear. And, how do they know it WILL actually get better? I can’t believe that there is still so little knowledge about mental illness.. when you talk to people, every other person seems to be on antidepressants or they know people who have some sort of mental illness. Or at least it sounds like people are more accepting and understanding these days, but still there seems to be that attitude around about “lunatics” or towards depression “pull yourself together” or silly things like that, that just shows how completely ignorant people can be.

I can’t say I entirely understand how you feel but I can relate. When you’re in a depression people don’t understand that sometimes that their ‘advice’ ,even if it may come from a good place, doesn’t fix the problem. They don’t understand it can sometimes rub it in that you’re not in the best place in your life. I’ve been there before. I’ll never know if it’s to the same extent as you because we’re different but instead of me telling you to “be more positive” I’ll just wish that positivity for you. I feel that knowing someone genuinely wants better for you is more soothing than them believing they can make better happen for you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this… I personally have never dealt with depression, and I know I can barely even begin to understand your struggles or pains, but I do hope you are able to eventually find some peace of mind & that you can someday discover some way to relieve yourself of pain.

Ok I was diagnosed with complex PTSD. Years ago. I have worked it through. Working it through sucks. Like depression sucks or anxiety. Except that the latter two keep you stuck. Everyone reacts different to different techniques of healing. It was try and error – sucks in itself. getting tough love form the therapeutic team sucks as well. They hold me accountable for my life. For my doings or sometimes the lack thereof.
For me a mixture of cognitive therapy, art therapy, visualization, body psycho therapy, Qi Gong, breath exercises and grounding techniques helped. Plus a specifically for me created toolbox. I learned that doing everything everyday is completely overcharging me and I will abandon any plan created. What I do is this:
every morning I blow myself a kiss in the bathroom mirror. Makes me giggle.
from my list of activities (Qi Gong, visualization, meditation, exercising or breathing exercise, Feldenkrais, Jacobsen) I choose one. I take time every morning to figure which one. Sort of ME time while fostering awareness and acceptance.
That are 15min out of each day. Not a lot.
In the evening I count the positive moments of the day. There are moments if one is ready to see it. Start small. Count your blessings. Gratitude and misery do not go together. I never figured how to counteract misery. But it worked for me to increase gratitude which automatically took over some space from misery. Made it easier to even further increase gratitude.
Grounding, grounding, grounding. The most simple, boring exercises who tend to drive me nuts. One of the most helpful. It works if you work it. Didn’t like to hear it, didn’t like to believe – yet it does. 2min per day!
Inner child work. Sucks but helps.
Guess you got the idea that I truly fought to keep it, to get rid of it, to get my will, my whatever.
Today I have still bad days. However they grow less by the year and as long as I self care I am ok. I accept that I have bad days and simply hide under the bed cover (great coping tool for me) for a certain amount of time. I have learned to love myself. It is ok to rage, to be angry, to be sad, to be exhausted. It is ok to be frustrated, helpless and sick of it, drawbacks are as ok as laughter.
I have however not forgotten the pain. All engulfing pain. I hear you. I truly do. You deserve better then that. Much better. We didnt ask for the PTSD. Yet we have to deal with it. It is not fair. But it is not all of you. You are more then the sum of your past, pattern and PTSD.
Love from my heart to yours.

I think you have every right to feel and express yourself in whatever way you see fit and in whatever manner will help you to cope and heal. I think that people who try to reply with a “be positive” comment often don’t understand what others are going through and figure that saying that is better than saying nothing at all, when in reality it can be more hurtful to the situation.

The chatter in the mind, and the need to escape it is hard–near impossible, you’re right. I think that by expressing the chatter and by expressing the thoughts and acknowledging them you’re doing yourself a service rather than keeping them in to appease others. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to read it.

I would rather read real posts like this than the sunshine-y “everything goes my way” posts I read on many other blogs.

You’re being more patient with that person (who you are helping with website stuff) than I would be. I might have told them to just figure it out themselves a while ago if they’re going to act that way.

Oh my goodness. Two years ago (and when I was 22), this could’ve been written by me (sans PTSD).

I just want to say that it does get better, not just you learn to deal with it better, mainly because your perspective changes. You deal with it differently. Also the farther away the event, the easier it is to deal with… just like being dumped in high school doesn’t seem like a big deal now.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ll have to read more posts to find out why, but I hope that you realize that this is only a season, a part of your life, and you can choose a different future.

Depression is a huge pain in the ass.

I’m currently going through a spell of it because THE FUCKING SUN DOESN’T WANT TO COME OUT. *shakes fist*

It does really suck when it’s all “BE POSITIVE” and said person hasn’t experienced depression or any mental illness first hand. It’s not that fucking easy. It’s not like flipping a switch OH HAY GURL, I’M HAPPY AGAIN.

I took my time to read your blog, and I took my time to read The Redhead Riters blog. It made me think for ten minutes. You know, I quit my job because it made me feel like I was rotten inside my body. My stomach and chest hurted each day, I had alot of migraine attacks and I coudn’t think positve and sleep anymore. But I don’t think it is the same as PTSD. Now that I quit my job I don’t really have that feeling anymore (not as strong as it was at work) and my migraine attacks are disappeared. 🙂
I think I know how you feel, well, I WANT to try to feel how you feel. I can only hope for you feel better one day. I wish I could help you with that. So if you need someone to talk to, and if you want to, I’m here for you 🙂 Goodluck with everything.

Expressing yourself will help even if no one wants to hear it. Write for yourself and listen to what you write. Reread it over and over again.

It is very depressing that most people can’t wrap their mind around PTSD and even more depressing that some people don’t even try to understand it.

I remember the first time someone said that I had a “mental illness” because I have PTSD. It was scary and shocking. I hadn’t ever thought about PTSD as a mental illness, but it is and so what? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is nothing to be ashamed of and that is why I write about it constantly. I want to educate the world. Somehow I want people to start understanding this horrific disorder.

I can feel your pain, anger and helplessness in your post. I’m so sorry you are hurting, but you CAN heal. It will take GREAT effort, but it will be worth it. Do you have a really good therapist? Have you tried EMDR, hypnosis or any other “technique” to help with PTSD besides just talking? If not, I think you should because it WILL help.

Another thing you can do is listen and work through this program: https://store.midwestcenter.com/mwc You can buy them cheaper on Ebay, but the point is to just get them. I know they are expensive, but they are so helpful. I listen to them on the way to and from work every day.

Today IS the FIRST day of the rest of your life. YOU can do this! From your avatar picture, I can tell you are a beautiful girl. Don’t let PTSD win. I almost lost…everything. So hang in there for another hour and then another hour until today is over. Take it one piece at a time. Read some funny stuff today too. It will help your brain. I have a section on my blog called “Chuckle of the Day” or my Driver’s License picture today. Clean humor. Go laugh. Laughing will release things in your brain to help counteract the depression and sadness. See…there is a method to my madness. (wink)

{{{{SUPER BIG HUGSSSSS}}}}