I don’t think it’s wrong to not say “thank you” to someone if I don’t think they’ve done anything for me. I also don’t think it’s wrong to not say “thank you” if I don’t feel thankful – or even if I’m not thankful. I don’t find not saying “thank you” and/or “I’m sorry” when I’m not sorry/thankful rude. I mean, if I were to say “thank you”, that would cause the person I am thanking to think I am thankful for what he or she has does. But if I do not say “thank you”, I must be the rudest person on Earth.
Society has changed so much within the passed few years, and so has the way everyone communicates. Everything has such a different meaning and can be translated in a different way.
Speech class makes communication seem like this big, easy thing for anyone – it’s not that simple. As I said two posts ago, I can’t just walk up to some random person like I could at Trinity and ask them if they want to hang out because they don’t seem to want to socialize outside of the classroom.
But that really isn’t my point. I guess it has something to do with my point, but what I’m really trying to say is…
If you are not thankful, it is not rude to not say “thank you”.
If you are not sorry, it is not rude to not say “sorry”.
The sorry can be argued a lot more than what I am arguing it, though. It’s just … if you say you’re sorry, and you’re not truly sorry, you’re lying. But if an elder (guardian, mom, dad, grandmother, teacher, etc.) tells you to say “I’m sorry” to someone, and you’re not sorry, they basically telling you to lie.
But if it’s the polite thing to do at the time, then you should do it. I’m not going back on my “it’s not rude” remark, but I do think that sometimes those two phrases should be said. But it shouldn’t, either, because it could hurt someone. But if you don’t say it, you could hurt someone that way as well.
Ugh. It’s all got to be so complicated!
I could write more of this, but all that good thinking up there happened this morning, at about 2:30am. I’m sorry to say that it is gone and that I’d planned on having more to say. But it’s gone. And I really am sorry!
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You know i think i say thank you and sorry all to often when i don’t mean it. So basically i was lying, but for the sake of not hurting someone, so it is rather complicating. :love: Love your emoticons by the way very cute. Also wanted to let you know that i entered your giveaway 🙂 Seems like an opportunity for me. Plus a very good prize. -Summer @ Star Junkie
Haha, thank you for joining the giveaway! ^^ My host is sponsoring it – since it’s HostClearly that I am hosted by. 🙂
I try my very best not to lie, and while I know it’s pretty much impossible not to lie at all, I still get pissed when others say things insincerely.
I do say thank you whenever I can, even for the little things, but I only say that when I really do appreciate what that person has done for me.
I make it a point to only say sorry when I really mean it. If I’m not sorry, I don’t say sorry. Sometimes, when I’m mad at someone, the person would say sorry before even knowing why I’m mad. Then I’d ask why he’s sorry, then he’d say that he doesn’t know. I’d then tell him that I don’t accept insincere apologies because, honestly, how can you really be sorry for something without even knowing what it is?
A lot of people just say thank you and sorry automatically, insincerely, and, for me, that just ruins the meaning of those words.
@Clarisse, I know!! I think that, when things like “Sorry” and “Thank you” are said to often, they lose their meaning.
It’s kind of like the way people say “I love you” so much that it becomes a habit, and it loses its meaning. 🙁
People say “thank you” and “sorry” all the time to be polite. And frankly, sometimes it’s better to be polite and lie than to be rude and truthful, like when you know that you’re probably not going to see that person for a long time. (Usually better to leave off on good terms just in case.) I think that adults tell kids to say that they’re sorry so that there can be peace, and so the kid can learn that what they did is wrong because kids don’t always know what is right and what is wrong. But I don’t know. You should ask someone older than the two of us.
However, it’s usually possible, especially in person, to tell whether someone is sincere or whether someone is saying it just because. I’m not quite sure how. You just have a hunch, and the hunch is usually correct. If you can’t tell (and some people can’t – nothing to be ashamed of), then you can be slowly coached to tell over time.
I love your new layout! It is cute and simple as always (:
t always need to say thank you. Its kind of a preference thing. If the situation is convenient enough then I guess its suitable to say thank you or so. You don
t always have to say thank you-- like you said. But that doesnt make you the rudest person on earth ‘~’.
What you said about another person telling you say sorry is true. That doesn`t mean you are sorry- otherwise you would’ve said it in the first place .__.! I think other people just do that so the “victim” can “feel better” in this case.
Society is confusing. 🙁 Sometimes, I just think– just be truthful and don’t acknowledge the other’s situation. Or. just have common courtesy.
Take care (:
Haha, thanks. 😛 I changed it to fit my mood – and I wasn’t feeling “pretty” anymore. I’m frustrated, with a lot of things. 🙁 …Including my laptop. >.>
I always say “please” and “thank you”. It’s more of a subconscious thing now because it’s what I’ve been doing all my life. I do not like dishonest apologies, though. It’s rude. :S
I also like twitter for the same reasons! 🙂
I think manners are important and people should learn about them but they should not be forced beyond their purposeful use. People should also never assume, so just because someone doesn’t say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean that they don’t feel that way. I think people just expect far too much. I don’t like it when someone pushes you to say either of the above. It’s like during school, some schoolkids were told to specifically say ‘thank you’ to the lunch lady. They could still have been thankful without saying it. I think some people were just really rude anyway so that’s why those kinds of things happened with discipline.
I think also, online, the funny thing is when people apologise for not blogging. Are they really sorry and do they really feel bad? I don’t, but I feel bad and apologise when I don’t return comments quickly. I am filled with remorse. Most people say they’re sorry or give a word of thanks when they are, so I don’t think people ought to be nitpicky about when they’re not; they could just be at a loss for words or can only express it with a hug or something. I know some of my friends are like that.
Thank you, Liz! 😀
I agree with you… I don’t think I’ll need to say sorry or thankful if I don’t even feel sorry or thankful. -.- I do say it alot though when it’s the polite thing to say. 😛
Something that’s one of my personal pet peeves is how easily people say ‘I love you” these days (in a friendly way). I mean, on facebook, even girls who rarely know each other are like “i love youuuu! ” I think it’s slightly annoying… it’s good to tell someone how much you appreciate them, but carelessly throwing such sensitive words around just makes it lose its value. 🙁 I would only say that to a best friend, a good friend, my family, or a boyfriend. Never to someone I just met at camp yesterday. Sometimes, though, I feel obligated to say it too just because other people say it to me. Everything really IS so complicated! :
I grew up being told never to say sorry if I didn’t mean it. And I don’t think that you should, even if not doing so makes you look rude. I remember when I was at school, I got in trouble for something and was told by a teacher to say sorry. I refused and said that I wasn’t sorry, so I wasn’t going to pretend I was, and ended up in even more trouble for being ‘rude’.
I’m not sure about the whole thank you thing though. If someone’s done something for me and I don’t particularly like it (or whatever), I still seem to say ‘thank you anyway’. I guess I’m just thanking them for their effort. Hmm, like you said, it’s a complicated one.