via Sunday Stealing.

What was your first alcoholic drink?
I was in middle school. My brother and I thought it was Sprite. ‘Twas a wine cooler.

What was your first job?
Aside from babysitting, Sonic. It was hell.

What was your first car?
A 1993 GMC Jimmy 2-door. It was red. And customized, so: guy magnet. 😉

What was your first mobile phone?
This weird looking phone by T-mobile. Wasn’t a flip phone, but just a weird phone. It wasn’t even just mine. My brother got upset and jealous, so we had to “share” it.

What is your first proper memory?
WHY TF do people always ask this question? Why must “proper” go before it? What the hell is a “proper” memory? Stupidest question ever. AKA How to Piss Liz off from 0 to 60 in 3.5.[1. Rihanna lyrics. Sigh.]

Who was your first teacher?
My mom, but she wasn’t a very good one.

Which fictional character do you wish was real?
I wish I was a fictional character. My entire life fits that of a fictional character. Does that count?

Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
This is a bit of a confusing question considering it’s a flight and not a ride. It implies I’ve been on an airplane. And I haven’t.

Who was your first best friend?
Heather K. AND I FOUND HER AFTER SO LONG TOO.
But my cousin, Shane has been my longest best friend. He’s the closest thing to an older brother that I had growing up. The brother from the movies and TV shows. He looked out for me.

What was your first detention for?
My mom and lard didn’t sign my reading sheet the previous night because they were upset over some shit with me. I hate that. Those “sign” sheets are the worst because [most] teachers usually put the blame on the student right away without looking further into it. It’s like when Coach K called my mom about a stupid paper bag project KNOWING that I was abused. If you fucking know and you don’t tell anyone, you’re breaking the law. If you know and call that child’s parents because you need them to get an assignment done, OR ANYTHING ELSE, you just put them in even more danger than they were already in.

What’s your strongest sense?
Probably touch or hearing. I can feel even the slightest of things, and I can hear the quietest of things, too.

Who was your first kiss?
Isn’t this the million dollar question?

What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema?
I lack that knowledge because I hardly remember anything happy about my childhood.

What’s the largest amount of money you’ve ever won?
“Won?”

What’s the largest amount of money you’ve spent in one spree?
$~130. Yeah. That sounds about right. But it was because I needed it.

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
I bite. Maybe not physically, but I bite.

Have you ever got sweet revenge on anyone?
Revenge is basically holding a grudge. And I don’t do that.

Have you ever been to a live concert?
Yep.

Have you ever been to see stand up comedy?
Stand-up*. I don’t care to. Lard always portrayed a stand-up comedian, and it was pure hell.

Have you ever needed stitches?
Probably, but I never got them.