Lately I’ve felt as if my happiness was trying to get stomped all over. To a point, it did. I tried to take it back by indirectly posting about my freedoms and all that jazz, but it didn’t do anything for me emotionally.
In return, I’ve found myself feeling nauseous and groggy, and I’ve been making my actions and decisions based upon how a particular person wants me to feel, act, etc. My entire September was taken away because of an unofficial threat. My blog — my sanctuary — was taken from me indirectly; I felt as if I couldn’t continue doing what I do. I felt as if I still lived in that house and had to follow orders from someone who never respected me from the start. Respect is earned, right? Well, in that case, my respect must be earned first as well.
I couldn’t care less what people in my past think of me. People are in the past for a reason. My siblings that I’ve not seen in so long and I will have the ability to reconnect sometime in the future. I didn’t take them out of my life; they were pried from my life, and I really do think about them each day.
I’m not extremely happy, but I do have some days where I feel quite content and don’t hate myself too much.
This is my life. 6birds is my life and my story. I don’t respect the people who raised me. I’ll admit it, and I’ll admit it proudly, to whomever would like for me to. If someone would like to contact me and talk like adults about my blog, use the contact form.
I don’t give a fuck about the damn domain name. I let go of it for a reason.
Regarding 6birds: I needed to change themes! This one is merely temporary for now. It’s still blue and such, but it’s a bit more fun than the other, and I figured I needed something fun for a while. I’m also trying to figure out the categories and tags situation because I’m a bit annoyed with them at the moment. I’m reorganizing my blog, but I don’t really wish to completely close it for a long time.
The title is a play on Taking Back Sunday.
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Even in the ancient Chinese Confucian society that preached filial piety, parents had duties to their children in return for the automatic respect – parents had to be very devoted to their families and kids, which is why many Asian parents try their best to give all they have to their kids.
I’ll just hammer it in one more time for reassurance, and just in case things relapse again: What your stepdad and mom did and demanded were wrong. They don’t deserve your respect. You are right. And may your siblings have the same courage to leave and join you in the future!
You just reminded me that I need to finish changing the categories and tags on my blog too! But there are so many good ways to organize posts in a personal blog, that I don’t really know what the best organization is.
Respect is not something that should be automatic and obligatory, in my opinion – there has to be something respectable about them for you to respect. Apparently there isn’t.
Ahh, family drama. I’m sorry that it’s plaguing you, too. 🙁