I feel childish blogging about this, but I think it’s really important to maintain a relationship with my mom and my dad – and hopefully a positive one.
Without kids, I got to spend some time with my mom. She was sitting outside in the Explorer (the trunk thing[1. I know hardly anything about vehicles.] was open, and we were facing the backyard). It was quiet and relaxing, and the moon was out. I had walked out there with her soon after the kids (Carrie and Patrick) got up because it was so loud, and I didn’t want to deal with the noise.
Whether Lard believes in it or not, I think mothers and daughters should be friends. In order to have trust in each other and be able to hang out together, they have to be friends. Just because my mom is my mom doesn’t mean she can’t be my friend, too. There will always be times when she has to step in and be motherly to me, but it doesn’t mean she cannot keep being my friend.
It makes me feel really sad when he “corrects” me and denies what I believe. Just because I don’t agree with his beliefs does not mean I cannot have my own. He’s told me why mothers and daughters can’t be friends before, but I honestly can’t care less about his explanation. I don’t even bring it up anymore because it hurts me so much whenever he says that. Why can they not be friends? That’s like saying my dad can’t be my friend – or like saying Alice can’t be my sister.
“a person you know well and regard with affection and trust” [source]
Although this is merely one definition, I don’t see it saying I cannot be friends with my mom.
I guess all that matters is that I finally got the chance to spend time with her away from everyone else and just talk. Even if we wouldn’t have talked, it would have still been nice. I still miss hanging out with her like I did last year, but spending time with her tonight meant a lot to me. I love my mom, and this was the first time in a long time that I got to spend time with her. I hope I get to do it again sometime soon.
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As an adults we don’t need our parents in the same way we needed them when we were young. I think it’s rewarding for both parents and adult-kids to be able to move the relationship from one of dependency to friendship.
Yes! I think it’s a challenge, too, because it does take a lot patience. I don’t quite understand why one would want to/feel like they have to come in the way of such relationship. It’s just really … frustrating. >.>
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Of course your mum can be your friend. Anyone who says otherwise obviously doesn’t understand how that relationship works. I mean, of course a mother should be caring and nurturing, as well as stepping in to do things such as discipline when necessary, but I think it’s important that you also act with her as you would a friend.
When I was younger, I never really spent much time with my parents. As I got older though, I started to spend more time with my mum. I can quite easily go out shopping or for lunch with my mum, just as I could any other friend. I don’t really see her as much as I’d like to any more though. I mean, we live 150miles apart, but even when I’m closer (I’ve been staying with her for the past couple of months), I rarely see her.
I don’t think it should be that way. :/
I’m sorry you rarely get to see your mom often. :/ Hopefully things will panel out later on. ^^
I agree with the friend thing. Some parents are like ‘I’m not your friend – I’m your parent.’ My mum definitely is a parent and steps up and is motherly and strict, but we can also talk and laugh all the time to the point where I do feel as though she is (or can be, at times… lol) my friend.
I think things will be even better/different when I’m older as I mature and my mum doesn’t have to nag me to do my chores any more lol. At the end of the day, as long as a mother is a mother when they need to be, I don’t see the problem with them also being friends.
Mine doesn’t have to nag me; I do it on my own. 🙂 Ahah. However, sometimes I do fail. P:
Mothers and daughters can definitely be friends if you ask me. The key is to know that there is a boundary of course. It’s always good to have a good relationship with your mother because whether kids believe it or not they’re always be there when no one else isn’t. I mean she brought you into this world for goodness sake. Just don’t go too far with it.
I don’t know what’s wrong with your stepdad and why he’s even worried about you and your mother’s relationship. Honestly I think it’s something going on with him, maybe he doesn’t want you and your mother to have a friendship because of fear of jealousy or something like that.
I’d kill to have a good relationship with my mom ALL the time.
I don’t necessarily have a great one with her all of the time, but I definitely don’t ever want to have such a relationship with her like a lot of my friends have with theirs. I love her a lot, and I just don’t want an awful relationship with her. yeah, jealousy probably? It would explain why what I said to Vicky happens.
A lot of people say mother and daughters can’t be friends because it gets in the way of parenting, but I believe all daughters should have a friendship with their mothers, especially as they get older.
I think it’s wrong that Tony’s trying to get in the way of that; I don’t think he believes that, I think he’s just trying to come between you both which is even more wrong. Screw him, if you want to be friends with your mum and vice versa, then that’s your choice.
I’m glad you got to spend a bit of time with your mum though. 🙂
I, too, think he’s trying to get in the way of our relationship sometimes. It’s all so very frustrating. He always pulls her out of the picture and back away from me each time she and get close again and spend a lot of time together. I don’t understand what makes it such a crime, you know? Blah. >.>
I definitely agree with you on this one, and I think that your mom does too. Your step dad is not female, and would never fully understand what a friendship between two females tends to be. Nothing wrong with a bit of girl talk and shopping with your mom once both of you are grown up.
Exactly. It isn’t bad to befriend your mom. I mean, he’s practically best friends with his mom, so why am I not allowed to be best friends with mine? I think he gets mad about it because sometimes I’m the only one she’s listen/talk to. He doesn’t really hide his frustration well at the moment.
Oh! I think all daughters should be friends with their mothers. I have a really close relationship with my mom. She’s my number one best friend. I do have other best friends (3 at most), but being friends with your mom is different! My mom is really sweet and she knows me well that’s why her advices are always right. I think you should listen to what you want to do about it.
Haha, that’s what I choose to do anyway. 🙂 It makes him mad, though.