You only wanted what was best for me, eh?

Sometimes a memory pops into my head and I remember how much I long  to be back on the farm. I remember leaving the farm reluctantly; I lived in a place I felt free (alas) in. I loved living there, and I keep missing it.

Why did I leave a place I wanted to stay at? Mimi was moving to a place not so secluded, wanting what was “best” for me, and I honestly think she just wanted to live with her new husband and their new house.

Off to the city I drove, landing and residing where I do now. Air polluted with gasoline and other things crowds my nose, leaving nature rarely grown. I have to search for it. I quickly went from being able to walk around the loop on that county road that housed my country home to instead staying inside, afraid of all the city has to offer: 2 cops shot at robbery scene, a nineteen year old girl goes missing, and random sounds at night that sound like gunshots. The doors have to be locked during the day, and I may wake up to the sound of an egg hitting my window or a car alarm from whomever and from wherever. And I hear the traffic from the roads.

And I don’t live in the ghetto[1. I’ve lived there once. Unless you count that other time…]; I actually live in a somewhat nice neighborhood where they have one of those cliché neighborhood crime watch programs that I typically see in the movies or maybe on TV that meets monthly with a cop or two. And it supposedly works.

And I miss the farm. I’m so homesick, and it keeps building up.

This is just one result of the “I-only-want-what’s-best-for-you” excuse. I really hope that I only say that line to my future child(ren) if I truly believe it is reasonable and not an excuse. I hate that excuse.

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Comments on this post

I have my fingers crossed that Mimi is just extremely ignorant and completely unaware of it. But something tells me that she was acting out of selfishness and is purposefully choosing ignorance rather than learning about you so that she can feel better about doing what she wants.

Compared to the city I lived in, where you live now would be dangerous, and I’d also be terrified if I ever heard a gunshot. There are cities without that sort of violence! (I don’t actually live in Los Angeles, I live in a smaller city right outside it that’s a lot safer.) I hope that one day, you can move back to a secluded area. But what I hope is that the people you’re living with now treat you better than Mimi did!